Killing of Nicole Lovell raises the question of how to keep children safe on social media

There is still so much we do not know how a 13-year-old Blacksburg, Virginia, the girl got to know a 18-year-old freshman Virginia Tech, before he allegedly stabbed to death.

What we know is a little bit more for a possible motive for the death of Nicole Lovell, a junior high school student. David Eisenhauer, a college track and field athlete, believed that they had an inappropriate relationship with Lovell and stabbed to death because he threatened to expose their relationship, according to a law enforcement official.

But how do you meet? How did the alleged relationship?

Points are facing an online network, after police arrested Eisenhauer with tips and leads from social media. We also know that Lovell was active in social media, including entries in a group on Facebook called teen dating and courtship, which has been closed since.

Parenting lessons from Child Predator Social Experiment

On the day of New Year, Lovell reportedly posted a selfie on the team, with the comment "cute or not," gathered more than 300 responses, most of them in the category vicious. Lovell was also active for the anonymous instant messaging app Kik, according a neighbor who told the New York Times that Lovell had revealed one of the texts of the daughters she had exchanged with a 18-year-old who planned to meet the night he disappeared.

I made reference to the parents who simply do not know Kik and other social applications that may use teenagers as Ask.fm, and how the anonymity of these sites can lead to bullying and other risky behaviors. So what can parents do to protect their children on social media?

You know what your kids are up
On the one hand, especially after a tragedy such as the death of Lovell, you can see how they want to prohibit their children from all social media. No engagement, ease. But this is not a reality in today's world, where social media is a key way for teens to socialize and spend time.

Instead of a ban, parents should be of interest to online lives of their children, said Diana Graber, cofounder CyberWise.org, a digital literacy site for parents, teachers, teens and tweens. This is not a new piece of advice, but to repeat it again and again: to participate.

"This can be as simple as asking your child to show you how to use an application that love, and then let that evolve into a discussion about what is happening in the online world," said Graber, who teaches also "citizenship Education in Cyber Civics" Middle schoolers in Cambridge, California.

The conversation and the interest should start when your child starts using digital devices, he said.

Parents have "control" for centuries, and should not assume that just because their children are at home behind a screen that anything goes wrong, said Katie Greer, who has been providing Internet and technology education in schools, law enforcement agencies and community organizations for almost a decade.

He says parents can be quite involved in the digital lives of their children with questions and make random checks, which can highlight potentially dangerous or problematic situations.

While every parent has probably taught their children not to talk to strangers in the offline world, many have probably not had a discussion about how to make relationships in the online world, said David Ryan Polgar, the co-founder of the Digital session citizenship peak, which is a global network of conferences focused on improving the use of social media.

According to a National survey by the Pew Research Center last summer, almost six out of ten teenagers say they met a new friend online, and 20% of teens have met people online then in person.

"Many natural relationships and friendships are first started online before moving offline. In other words, online, constantly talking to strangers, "said Polgar, a former lawyer and college professor who often comments on technology." It is easy to feel a false sense of intimacy through online relationships. It is important to "trust's, but verify ", and have a healthy level of attention both in some interactions online and in physical space."

Family «tech transparency '

Greer, the national Internet security expert said that is a great way for parents to stay over the applications they use their children to use the "Prompt for the market" with the Apple devices or the ability "Authentication" in google Play Store.

"Utilizing these features will make it so that parents need to approve applications before you settle in to their children's devices," Greer said. "This way, parents can gather information on applications before you allow them access to their children, while staying active and updated for the latest and greatest (or not-so-great) applications."

Graber of CyberWise said there are also online parenting applications such PocketGuardian or ThirdParent, which will catch and warns you of unsafe or potentially harmful activity in your child's phone and to recommend what to do or where to turn for help.

Developing a family relationship with the social media taking into account age, family values ​​and any unique circumstances are crucial, and so is the communication of how the family will monitor social media, the Polgar said.

"The goal is to have technology transparency as a family in order for parents to better supervise and guide their children," he said.

Are we addicted to the Internet?

If you are a parent and you are wildly frightened after this latest tragedy, I can relate. Who knows what platforms and applications will be available when my girls, who are 8 and 9 reach the middle and high school?

But I keep thinking about smart advice from these Internet security experts: we can take steps to try to keep our children safe. There is a way.

Educating our children about digital security, undertake dialogue with them about what they do and what they experience and empower them to be safe in the online world can help to give them the "modern street smarts» needed in today's world said Polgar.

"Since children spend more time online than at school or with their families, parents no longer can be blind digital activities," said Graber of CyberWise. "The stakes are just too high."

What do you think parents can do to try to keep their kids safe online? Share your thoughts